Mystery Animal #9: Kifaru

In an old story
The Creator felt sorry
For he made all the beasts without horns and coats
The zebras looked like donkeys
The gorillas looked like monkeys
And the Thompson's gazelles looked like goats

He said, "Oh, what a wonder
What a thundering blunder
I just knew that I left something out
If I don't change the features
Of these resembling creatures
When I try to distinguish I'll always have doubt"

So back to the drawing board
To retap his thinking gourd
The Big Guy went with a hammer and thread
Horns and sweaters
Of ivory and leather
He crafted till well past the hour for bed

The next morning at dawn
He bid the animals come
To a cave where he displayed all the styles brand new
The animals rushed
And some of them pushed
For such a sale only comes when the moon turns blue

The Creator said with pride
Take two horns and a hide
Whichever ones you think will fit you best
So the animals lunged
And the greedy ones plunged
And came out with a tie and a vest

But unfortunately for me
Since quite poorly I see
I grabbed uneven horns and a suit three sizes too large
I'll admit I was sad
But made the best of what I had
And put the horns on my nose should I ever need to charge

And those horns still haunt me
For the poachers now want me
And they kill me if they can get past the ranger
So I'm on the brink
Of becoming extinct
And because I never wore glasses I'm now considered endangered